Mar 25

The ebb and flow 

When I was an undergraduate student I spent most of my university breaks in Zambia, setting up our SKIP project there. People used to ask me what the difference was between life in UK and life in Zambia and why I was so enamoured with it.  My response invariably went something like this…

In the UK life can often be akin to a calm pond … Yes its pleasant and easy to navigate but at times I find that a tad stagnant, sometimes even dosing off and waking up to find whole swathes of life have passed me by with little event. In Zambia, life is more like the ever changing turbulent waters of the Zambezi river… Dangerous, at times chaotic, but also beautiful, inspiring and exciting. From moment to moment, crashing waves swirl around pools of tranquility, the poignancy of these peaceful havens amplified by the chaos that surrounds them. In fact they have even named this spirit of the river, Nyami Nyami, the river serpent who strives to reach his lover, who rests peacefully the otherside of the Kariba dam. He, in passion and anger roaring and driving the wildness of the river. She, resting silently and calmly in Kariba lake awaiting her lover to break through. Two extremes, no middle ground. 

  
The undulating ebb and flow of life keeps you gripped and alert with anticipation. Lows can be catastrophically low, but the highs are oh so awe inspiring. As if by knowing the dark pain of loss, you are better able to bask in the light of your loved ones. By knowing the sharp betrayal of corruption, you appreciate the soft purity of integrity ever more. By knowing the bitter challenges of a life of chaos, peace becomes that much sweeter. 

Long term perhaps I would find such a tumultuous pace exhausting, but from time to time it can reinvigorate and remind me what it truly means to be alive. To value life in all it’s bittersweet beauty, to appreciate the little things that otherwise are oft overlooked. 

In Uganda I find a similar ebb and flow, that of the Nile instead of the Zambezi perhaps, but equally as fascinating and demanding of my utmost attention to the day to day details of life. When asked how I find my work here I often answer “fulfilling and frustrating in equal measure!”

I often wonder why I feel so drawn to this confrontation of life at its fullest. Does the savage tragedy to which we bear witness every day, make moments of joy that much sweeter? Does the swiftness with which life can be snuffed out, make us dance with more passion and abandonment? Does being surrounded by abused and neglected rights, make the fire for change and progress burn so much brighter? Is an easy life one which drags you down into blind apathy? 

  
Is there something in me that thirsts to be faced with that which is the true reality for the majority of the global population? Is it guilt that I was born by chance into such a life of opportunity, whilst other women around the world are  doomed to lives of servitude and subjugation from the moment they leave the womb? Is it a childhood peppered with spikes of contrasting tragedy and joy, that has instilled in me this method of learning and led me to continue to seek such opportunities for growth of the soul? 

Many questions, few answers… I only know that without these periods of time spent living and working in other cultures, in other worlds, I would not have become who I am today and I perhaps I would not have discovered the inner drive  that has pushed me to do things I never dreamed possible. 

Thus I am left with gratitude… Gratitude to have been able to bear witness to and become part of the ebb and flow of life.

Permanent link to this article: https://clairemariethomas.com/2016/03/the-ebb-and-flow/

Feb 12

In what do we trust?

One of the interesting discoveries I have made during my time here in Uganda is that trust is a beautiful and fragile luxury, a precious gift that is not to be taken for granted.  

 This revelation was prompted by a recent experience when leaving a backpackers hostel at Murchison Falls national park. As we were on our way to a hostel run by the same company in Kampala the manager, a British bloke, said “just settle up your bill when you get to Kampala”. Our guide, a lovely Ugandan called Joel, was shocked “you Muzungus [foreigners] really trust each other, wow!” He simply was amazed that this bloke might trust us enough to let us go without paying in full. Never mind that he had our passport numbers, emails and work details! As Joel put it ” too many of us [ugandans] think in the short term, so we can’t trust each other”.

Sadly, due to the complex and corrupt history of Uganda, culturally and socially trust has become a scarce commodity. Mistrust is the norm, secrecy is commonplace and consequently this has far reaching impact on the development of lasting and positive personal and professional relationships.  

 Of course there are many trustworthy people here, good and genuine people who want to help their fellow Ugandans to overcome the challenges of poverty, ill health and socio-political disruption. The tragedy is that many find it difficult to place their trust in even the most honest and kind of their community. So many have been deceived for so long by so many, both nationally and locally, that fear of deception has become the dominant concern that underpins the vast majority of interactions. 

Take for example marriage… When one is getting married here I am informed by Ugandan friends that one avoids making any announcements until the last possible moment for fear that “your enemies” might try to sabotage you plans. Once married, there is the common perception that for many couples it is unlikely any marriage will remain monogamous and that it is to be expected that one or both partners may deceive their spouse by fraternising outside marriage. 

Or consider if you will money… I am informed by local Ugandans that lending money here is done only with the expectation that it is not really a loan it is a gift, that business ventures are risky and fraud is commonplace.  

 These perceptions may or may not be true (scientific studies pending 😉), but what is most upsetting is that the majority of people here believe them to be true. Faith in your fellow man is scarce and reserved largely for those who are most pious. 

This does not mean however that generosity or kindness are in short demmand… Far from it! Every day I see people selflessly helping others. But the trust? The trust is simply few and far between.

Why does this bother me so much? 

I am a fan of exploring emotions, a deeper understanding of which informs the holistic person centred side of my work as a doctor. Plutchik has identified 8 core emotions, and several other emotional states that are a fusion of those core emotions. Plutchik hypothesises that love is a merger between trust and joy, a concept that I personally find very helpful in understanding relationships and perceptions of “love”. In the case of Uganda, this hypothesis means that the feeling of love, true pure love, must be very hard to come by.  You might find that someone gives you great joy, but without being able to truly trust them, that contentment and security that comes with the feeling of love continues to elude you. 

Of course following that same theoretical course means that submission (a combination of fear and trust) is equally hard to come by… Which judging by the current political tensions and the fiestiness of my friends and colleagues seems to ring true. 

Of course this is all mere conjecture and possibly outrageous hyperbole, based only on anecdotes and limited observations. However considering this concept  has led me to reconsider some of my interactions here. It has provided me with a renewed perspective and a deeper understanding of how best to develop my personal and professional relationships. 

It is all about building trust… Ensuring that my actions and behaviours are clear and unambiguous, to enable others to begin to trust in me and giving to others that precious unconditional gift of my trust in them. It might be a risky move and of course will be difficult to sustain, as I am only human. However, I hope that given time and perseverance it will aid the growth stronger and deeper personal bonds and a more productive and open working environment.

Watch this space… 

 

Permanent link to this article: https://clairemariethomas.com/2016/02/in-what-do-we-trust/

Feb 10

The Art of Storytelling

The second in my series on public narrative form the HLSS event in Portugal.

Narrative pic 4
The elements of a good story are universal and simple. The challenge is to develop complexities and beauty within each element.

Let us begin with what for the purpose of our public narrative process is the most important element…

The Moral

The moral (or message, or value) is the thread that winds its way throughout your story of self, us and now. It is the purpose and the goal of the story to communicate this moral to others in a way that they understand not just as a concept, but as an emotional understanding. The moral is the heart of the story, the struggle or challenge to live by that moral, to discover or exhibit those values is what engages the listener to reflect on their own life challenges relative to the story.

The Protagonist

The protagonist/s is/are the character/s who moves through the story. They should be relatable on a human level, which can be achieved by being humble, heroic, flawed, vulnerable…anything that makes them someone we can identify, with and in some form feel empathy for. Because we can empathetically identify with the character, we can “feel” the values. We not only hear about the strategy someone’s courage; we can also be inspired by the emotional response we have to it.

The Plot

The purpose of the plot is to take us to that timeless shared human experience of standing on the precipice of the unknown, facing the choice that must be made. These are the moments we all have, the choices in life that make us look to stories with curiosity, to learn how to act as good people or to make good decisions.

A classical plot builds begins with an unexpected challenge that confronts the character with an urgent need, a choice for which he or she feels unprepared. The choice yields an outcome, the outcome then demonstrates the values/moral underlying the choice and the inner resources that may or may not be available for dealing with the challenges of life.

Screen Shot 2016-02-10 at 19.01.58

And there you have it… a relatable protagonist, moved through a journey of successive challenges until reaching an inevitable choice point. Following this we reveal the consequences and outcomes of said choice, all the while weaving our moral and message throughout. Simple, no? But not simplistic!

 

Permanent link to this article: https://clairemariethomas.com/2016/02/the-art-of-storytelling/

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